I have never received a report card that did not include the phrase “achievement appears to be below ability.”
My final GPA in high school was a 3.00 and would be lower except that failing grades were not factored in.
I took seven AP classes in high school and sat only two of the tests.
In eighth grade I took an extensive personality test, after which a psychiatrist told my mom “not to expect Malcolm to go to a 4-year college.”
When I announced my plan to take a gap year and travel, several of my close friends told me that they did not believe I would ever return to school.
Twelve hours ago the suitcase with all my clothes (and many other things) in it was not loaded onto my flight. It is currently missing.
Four hours ago my ride from Chicago, IL to Beloit, WI cancelled on me.
And thirty minutes ago I moved into my dorm at Beloit College.
I am no longer as surprised as you are. I am fucking shocked.
Join me next Saturday for "Oh, you like the Shins? What building are you in?"
My final GPA in high school was a 3.00 and would be lower except that failing grades were not factored in.
I took seven AP classes in high school and sat only two of the tests.
In eighth grade I took an extensive personality test, after which a psychiatrist told my mom “not to expect Malcolm to go to a 4-year college.”
When I announced my plan to take a gap year and travel, several of my close friends told me that they did not believe I would ever return to school.
Twelve hours ago the suitcase with all my clothes (and many other things) in it was not loaded onto my flight. It is currently missing.
Four hours ago my ride from Chicago, IL to Beloit, WI cancelled on me.
And thirty minutes ago I moved into my dorm at Beloit College.
I am no longer as surprised as you are. I am fucking shocked.
Join me next Saturday for "Oh, you like the Shins? What building are you in?"
Haha, I totally randomly stumbled onto this....love it! I'm wishing you all the best for a fantastic year, and for embracing this great new step in your journey in life. Total faith you will fit right in. Keep in touch!
ReplyDelete-Sarah (Schenkkan) :)
Avoid the hard drugs. Also, once you are on academic probation, it can be a bitch to get off.
ReplyDeleteVlad
First off, you aren't supposed to keep us wondering ... did you ever get your suitcase? Was the contraband still in it?
ReplyDeleteSecond, don't be so damn surprised. I remember when you first slipped out of your mother's womb, my first thought was, This boy is going to college in Wisconsin someday.
Third, I've heard that Sarah Schenkkan is smoking HOT. (Vladdy, not so much.)
Your Cool Uncle
it's about time you update this thing. Just saying. Your adoring public needs to know what's up.
ReplyDelete