During the last ten days, I have often found myself in the dangerous position of having a captive audience.
It took me all of twenty minutes to realize that talking about my trip (which cost me four months, ten pounds and my life-savings and which was probably the most significant achievement of my life to date) makes me come off as self-righteous and pretentious. Which I am.
On the other hand, talking about my sister's new baby (which cost me absolutely nothing and would have been born whether or not I even existed) makes me come off as happily mature and endearing. Which I'm not.
She is cute though. When she was born she had that squishy, red, newborn-baby look but in the last few months she's really grown into an adorable little human. However, I can't hold her for more than five minutes without having to change my shirt afterward because she manages to drool more than seems possible.
See what I mean?
And that's just the tip of the iceberg. I've got hours of niece-related material that can paint me as anything from fun and loyal to thoughtful and forward thinking.
I can honestly say that becoming an uncle was the best decision I had nothing to do with.
Join me next Saturday for "It's not easy being Oprah."
It took me all of twenty minutes to realize that talking about my trip (which cost me four months, ten pounds and my life-savings and which was probably the most significant achievement of my life to date) makes me come off as self-righteous and pretentious. Which I am.
On the other hand, talking about my sister's new baby (which cost me absolutely nothing and would have been born whether or not I even existed) makes me come off as happily mature and endearing. Which I'm not.
She is cute though. When she was born she had that squishy, red, newborn-baby look but in the last few months she's really grown into an adorable little human. However, I can't hold her for more than five minutes without having to change my shirt afterward because she manages to drool more than seems possible.
See what I mean?
And that's just the tip of the iceberg. I've got hours of niece-related material that can paint me as anything from fun and loyal to thoughtful and forward thinking.
I can honestly say that becoming an uncle was the best decision I had nothing to do with.
Join me next Saturday for "It's not easy being Oprah."
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