Apparently, the Paraguayans I know read this blog. Good thing I have been so carefully respectful of Paraguayan culture.

I think that nearly all men fall into one of the following two categories:

1. Men that sometimes pee in the shower

and

2. Men that pretend they never pee in the shower


Even if you have only ever peed in the shower twice, you know how enjoyable it is. The action is satisfying, rebellious and pleasurable all at once. And these feelings are made even more enjoyable by an overwhelming sense of security. It is simply not possible to get caught peeing in the shower.

Unless you find yourself doing it, out of habit, at the gym.

In writing this blog I feel I have been peeing in the metaphorical shower. I have been amusing myself, once a week, by carelessly exploiting the stereotypes of Paraguayans and all South Americans through somewhat trite and heavy-handed comedy that plays on American prejudice.

Like peeing in the shower, my blog causes no lasting damage (especially given that if you are reading this you are probably one of roughly four), but it is not exactly the most polite response to the overwhelming generosity and hospitality I have received since the day I got here. And, having found out that the Paraguayans I know (as well as the man who owns the house I live in rent-free), have read at least parts of this blog, I feel a little like I have been caught peeing in the locker-room shower.

For this reason, I am compelled to apologize for any offense given, as well as to clarify a few things.

I do not scream at ten-year-old street salesmen.

I do not believe that they have sold their livers in order to hawk fake Ray-Bans.

I am not actually amused by the overwhelming poverty that scars much of this country.

I have, however, peed in the shower. And not just metaphorically.

So, having carefully excused myself for any wrong doing, I plan to continue, weekly, to use this forum as means to publicly point and laugh at those lazy, poor, homophobic South Americans. But, you know, respectfully.

Join me next Saturday for "Our Lord Jesus Christ tries his hand at optometry"