Hello sir, my American friends would find your apparent, abject poverty artistic. May I take your photo?

Every South America travel book I've read has a section on photography. The book here at my desk has one called "at the photographic shop." It lists vocabulary like:

Camera - Camara
Lens - Objetivo
Filter - Filtro
Diaphragm - Diafragma

I cannot tell you how often "diafragma" has saved my neck. And not just at the photographic shop. So, emboldened by my knowledge of Spanish photo lingo, I hit the streets.

My early photos were pretty benign. I got the house, my room, the street I live on, the park nearby etc. But I know what you blood-suckers came to see. Paraguay is a third world country and you want see some poverty. We Americans hunger for close-up photos of broken gold-teeth, six-year-old cigarette salesmen and their three-legged dogs. We cannot wait to make them the artistic desktop background of a $3000 computer.

So, I can go up to these people and rattle off friendly phrases from helpful guide books. "Hola amigo, como estas? Bien, bien. Si, soy Americano. Estaria bien si saque unas photos?"

But we both know the truth. We are not "amigos." My actual words are not condescending but he understands what I'm getting at. I'm saying "Hello sir, my American friends would find your apparent, abject poverty artistic. May I take your photo?"

Join me next Saturday for "I will fight you over 3800 guaranies."